by Karl Scribner
Yeah, that's right. Life goes on without Wyatt Ferguson. And we're probably better off for it.
Don't get me wrong. The FERG is doing good stuff. Right now, it's walking that fine line between supporting the government, and supporting the masses. So far, both sides are happy. We'll see how long that lasts.
But if Wyatt were still around, he'd have $#@!ed things up somehow. He didn't exactly command mass loyalty, until after he was conveniently not there. And the government didn't like him much at all. They're mostly dealing with the FERG because this is where they have to go now for Suresh and his patented baseball suits. Not that they want to play ball (so to speak), but those suits can beat superhumans in a baseball game, and that's a great way to get business for battle suits.
If Wyatt Ferguson were still around, he'd be the 2000's version of the 1969 Tommy. Yeah, the rock and roll messiah, the Tommy from the Who. And if you never knew how that story ended... let's just say, he got what happens to messiahs in the Christian tradition, when those messiahs live. It's actually kind of convenient that Wyatt's not around.
So let's try to get along without him, shall we?
You'll be glad to know, here at the FERG we're working harder than ever, but we are getting along without Wyatt Ferguson. I can tell you some stories about that... and that's really why they gave me a column in the FergLetter.
My first mission for the FERG was to go to Newburgh, New York on April 11th, to monitor some applicants for the Superhuman Patrol Initiative. It's kind of ironic how Vice-President Steiger once wanted to ban superhumans, and now he has to settle for licensing them... but I digress.
My job as a monitor, is to make sure we're not just getting gangbangers. And apparently, the city of Newburgh had a problem with gangbangers. People are especially concerned about that, especially around those self-serve storage areas for some reason.
Well, this group of applicants seemed not to have that problem. They were all women, dressed for aerobics class. They must be some of those Body Up superhumans. I could swear I saw Wyatt Ferguson's sister there... but for the record, my vision is not always the best.
And I can say, this group of applicants went over the top. They made it through our testing - and through a real gangbanger attack! No, the government didn't schedule it... at least, not as far as I know.
But the government did want our report, two days later. And we didn't get all the training information until 4:30 that day. But I saw that coming, because that information comes past government scrutiny, after all. So I'd already yelled for help. And they sent Chang out. He's a wizard with information. The report got out, and we got dinner that night! (Well, I did. I think Chang lives on Fritos.)
I could tell you other stories. Like how I had the privilege of seeing Karin Bodil, from DuoPolarity of Boston, give a seminar in the Canadian Maritime Provinces. Or about the Wisconsin superhumans I monitored, who had their own lakefront highrise. Or the time the singer Vara Hosea came to visit the FERG Hotel East.
But I'm sure I've overrun my story allotment already, and my evil editor Evil Vince has already cropped some stuff. Oh, well, Thumbs Up for Evil, because that's what editors are for!