You in Many Worlds!

World 1: The Neanderthal Bat

(Male Version)

You wake up. You get nuts and berries for your mate and spawn. You eat.

(Common Version)

After you eat, Chief calls your tribe together. Chief says Shaman has left the tribe. Shaman wants to kill you. Chief doesn't know why.

Shaman comes then. Shaman's hair is green and face is white, like always when he makes magic.

Shaman says he is "Jokemaker" now. He makes a barking noise, like a hyena. He says life is (some word you can't understand, but it sounds like "Joke").

You not understand Shaman. Neither does rest of tribe.

Shaman says life makes shit, so life is shit, so life should be shit. And it's all very ("Joke" word you can't understand).

You not understand Shaman. Neither does rest of tribe.

Shaman says, life makes shit, shit is like death, life is death, life must die. And it's all very ("Joke" word you can't understand).

You not understand Shaman. Neither does rest of tribe.

Chief still not understand Shaman either. Chief says he can talk to Bat Warrior who have link to Bats of Vengeance. Chief shouts loud to sky.

Man with Bat on chest drops from sky into tribe. He hits Shaman with club. Shaman dies.

You see land above, where you can drop into tribe. You can walk up there. But you are not Bat Warrior, so you don't.

You feel secure that Bat Warrior will always protect you from threats. And there are many (more than two) threats. There are always predators, and there are many (more than two) enemy tribes.

But one of those tribes is different. Their men are not as strong as yours, but their heads are bigger.

Their champion paints a symbol on his chest, like all champions do, but it doesn't say anything. It looks like a snake, but they say it is not; it is just a "letter" named "S".

They say "letters" can stand for many things. This lets them get the support of many gods with just one symbol. And this "letter" could stand for "super".

The End.

Coming Soon: Neanderthal Bat II: Challenge of the Super-Friends!

You are going up to the holy city Jerusalem, where the High Priest reads from the Books of the Prophet Samuel. You have to go into the Temple, and down below into its most sacred caves, before you get the readings. The caves are covered with bats, the sacred totem of the protectors of Israel.

The priest reads:

(From 1 Samuel 9)

There was a man of Benjamin whose name was Wayne, the son of Abiel, son of Zeror, son of Becorath, son of Aphiah, a man of wealth. And he had a son whose name was Bruce, a handsome young man. There was not a man among the people of Israel more handsome than he. From his shoulders upward he was taller than any of the people.

The LORD had revealed to Samuel: "Tomorrow about this time I will send to you a man from the land of Benjamin, and you shall anoint him to be protector over my people Israel. He shall save my people from the hand of the Philistines; for I have seen the affliction of my people, because their cry has come to me."

When Samuel saw Bruce, the LORD told him, "Here is the man of whom I spoke to you! He it is who shall watch over my people."

(From 1 Samuel 10)

Then Samuel took a vial of oil and poured it on Bruce's head, and kissed him and said, "Has not the LORD anointed you to be protector over his people Israel? And you shall watch over the people of the LORD and you will save them from the hand of their enemies round about. And this shall be the sign to you that the LORD has anointed you to be watchman over his heritage. When you depart from me today you will meet a man by Rachel's tomb in the territory of Benjamin at Zelzah, and he will say to you, 'Your father has fallen by my hand.' But the LORD will deliver that man into your hand."

When Bruce turned his back to leave Samuel, God gave him another heart, and the sign came to pass that day. When he came to Rachel's tomb, a man named Josiah came to him and said, "Your father has fallen by my hand, and now you shall fall as well." But a flight of bats emerged from the tomb, and Josiah in his fright of them fell over a cliff. And so Bruce learned that criminals are a superstitious and cowardly lot.

(From 1 Samuel 13)

Bruce was (number missing) years old when he began to protect Israel; and he protected Israel for (number missing) and two years. Bruce took unto himself the aspect of a bat, because of the sign from the LORD; and the LORD prospered him.

(From 1 Samuel 14)

There was hard fighting against the Philistines all the days of Bruce. And when Bruce saw any strong man, or any valiant man, he attached him to himself. And so Bruce built a League of Justice.

(From 1 Samuel 15)

Now the Spirit of the LORD departed from Bruce, and an evil spirit from the LORD tormented him. And Dick came to Bruce, and entered his service.

(From 1 Samuel 17)

And there came out from the camp of the Philistines a champion named Bane-Warrior, of Gath, whose height was six cubits and a span. He had a mask of bronze on his head, and he was armed with a coat of mail, and the weight of the coat was five thousand shekels of bronze.

He stood and shouted to the ranks of Israel, "Why have you come out to draw up for battle? Choose a man for yourselves, and let him come down to me. If he is able to fight with me and kill me, then we will be your servants; but if I prevail against him and kill him, then you shall be our servants and serve us."

When Bruce and all Israel heard these words of the Philistine, they were dismayed and greatly afraid.

Now Dick was the son of an Ephrathite of Benjamin in Judah, named Gray, who had eight sons. Dick was the youngest; the three eldest followed Bruce, but Dick went back and forth from Bruce to feed his father's sheep at Bethlehem.

And Dick said to the men who stood by him, "What shall be done for the man who kills this Philistine, and takes away the reproach from Israel? For who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God?"

When the words which Dick spoke were heard, they repeated them before Bruce; and he sent for him. And Dick said to Bruce, "Let no man's heart fail because of him; your servant will go and fight with this Pharisee."

And Bruce said to Dick, "Go, and the LORD be with you!"

Then he took his staff in his hand, and chose five smooth stones from the brook, and put them in his shepherd's bag. His sling was in his hand, and he drew near to the Philistine.

When the Philistine arose and came and drew near to meet Dick, Dick ran quickly toward the battle line to meet the Philistine. And Dick put his hand in his bag and took out a stone, and slung it, and struck the Philistine on his forehead; the stone sank into his forehead, and he fell on his face to the ground.

When the Philistines saw that their champion was fallen, they fled. And Dick took the head of the Philistine and brought it to Jerusalem.

And so Dick prospered, and when the kingdom became too much for Bruce to watch over by himself, the LORD gave Dick unto Bruce as a helper. Because the stones with which Dick fought were very much like robins' eggs, Dick took to himself the symbol of the Robin-Defender.

As the LORD had said, only the LORD shall be King over Israel. And so to this day, each ruler of Israel has taken not the title "King", but "Bat-Defender". And each Bat-Defender has had an assistant, titled "Robin-Defender".

And so the reading ends. Like the others with you, you long for the day when the LORD will send another protector to Israel, like unto the Bat-Defender. You've heard stories of a man from Nazareth...

The End.

Coming Soon: Bat-King II: The Messiah-Bat!

Prologue:

There will come a time when the heroes and villains of today must retire. When that time comes, you may be sure there will be a special place for them to retire to. The United Nations has a special committee, which knows exactly who to send where. (Did you really think that a few masks and glasses could fool the entire world?)

You work at the Northeast U.S. retirement home. This has always been a trouble spot. There are a lot of annoying patrons there, like a Mr. Dent who insists he be given change at the front desk in two-dollar bills. And a Ms. Quinzel, who calls everyone "Puddin'".

Most annoyingly, there's a Mr. Wayne who's been placed there. He objects to the people who've been released there from Arkham Asylum. They've never specifically made trouble for him, but he's complained for ten years now - as high as the senators from Rhode Island where he comes from. They've made your life hell.

But you've planned a surprise for the inmates. You've sent some e-mail to !@#$%^&*(dfghjq2w3456u8+_)(*&^

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