Gorilla Mormon Leno Quest The Saucer War Ladder to the Moon Outpost Mongolia Dinosaur Island The Socotra Incident Another Decision at Potsdam Make It Never Was 2 Superhuman World Superhuman World 2007
Me in a Superhuman World:
Startup Escalation 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 Tabloids Others Me .
This Year: Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec.

Superhuman World 2007

My Adventures in Comic Books

Of course I have adventures in comic books. We all do, even if we're just innocent bystanders, because most comic books take place right here and now. And whenever we go to sleep and then dream of adventures, we have one somewhere. Why not in a comic book?

Everyone else is having adventures too. And they're worth talking about... somewhere else. But these are my adventures. Mine mine mine!

January

Peerless. What happens when a superhuman goes into pro sports - and it's never been done before?


Mage Contract. Some of the superhumans of my world are evil mages. And they have as much chance as anyone else to work for governments. Especially when the U.S. Gov starts a massive investigation into alien mind control.

One of the places that gets the contract is the Douglas, Massachusetts compound of the Freedom Engineering Research Group - the FERG! When my relatives took over the FERG, they left this place alone. And I'm still technically part of the ruling triumvirate. So I go to Douglas to report for work.

Okay, we've made it out. But evil mages have attacked me and my friends. I'm used to this crap, but my friends aren't. This needs to stop. Somehow.

And maybe it's time to take another job.

February

The Socotra Incident. People in this world worry about terrorists in Iraq, and sometimes Yemen and Somalia. What about all those other places terrorists might hide - like in between Yemen and Somalia?

March

Heh. So far this month, I've merely impressed a friend by levitating on a bus. My technique was sloppy, but he's like most people and can't fly at all. (4 Mar)

Ladder to the Moon

... Oops, spoke too soon.

Ladder to the Moon. In the middle of the war between the U.S. and. the flying saucers, people from the secret Lunar base have attacked my friends! That is something I will join the response to, without complaint or hesitation, even if it does inflame an interplanetary incident. (14 - 20 Mar)

doG Rest Ye Merry Gentlefolk. Politicians and Black Arts mages are joining together for a blasphemous "Think and Grow Rich" ritual. It is my pleasure to disrupt such crap, especially when my friends ask me to.

Yes, I know this sounds like a breach of mystic treaty. But by the modern pagan Threefold Law of Consequences, the attackers deserved this and more from when they attacked my friends. Some of these doofs actually try to recreate that old time religion the supposed Druidic way, so maybe they get my message.

As for politicians, I guess we'll all have to wait and see whether they get more power from this abortive ritual. I suppose that's only fair, because we'd all have to wait and see, even if it were successful. (28 Mar)

April

Life on Patrol. My superhuman friends want me on patrol against evil. My superhuman enemies want to neutralize me by putting me on patrol against the usual sorts of trivial evil. I guess I'm on patrol. (2 - 20 Apr)

The Siege of Raleigh
May

The Siege of Raleigh. Uh oh, Osama bin Laden has his hands on a time machine, and his minions are on their way to meddle with the U.S. Civil War - and then the Russian Revolution and World War 2! (20 - 31 May)

June

Another Decision at Potsdam, or, The Siege of Raleigh Continued. Osama bin Laden and his time machine have gone to 1945... but what are Leon Trotsky, e-mail, and Hooters doing here? (1 - 18 Jun)

Interlude. As part of my job, I'm expected to not take some well-deserved downtime after my last mission. Instead, I'm supposed to volunteer to help look for the superhuman former professional wrestler Crusher Joe Corrigan. It might be time to take this job and shove it. (22 Jun)

The Villain War. Featuring:

Now What?
July

The Villain War continues.

August

First Contact Con, or Welcome to the Occupation. The Saucer War is over - and the aliens won! Or at least they think they did. Now, they're introducing themselves in the human manner - with a convention. (13 - 17 Aug)

A Month in the Life
September

A Month in the Life. For once, I've spent a month without quite being sucked into any extradimensional incursions, alien invasions, or superhuman battle squads! That's such a special thing in my life, I'm going to tell the whole story.

  1. Saturday 1 Sep: I'm roaming the world as a web journalist. My first mission for the month is to cover a Jello festival in Le Roy, upstate New York near Rochester, where Jell-O originated. One teenager is afraid he'll have too much Jello if he whips it. But how can you have too much Jello?
  2. Sunday 2 Sep: Back home (Port Huron, Michigan for the moment) the next day, I've got a new office, and I have to decide whether to bring my favorite rolling chair in there. A rasta dude comes in looking for tobacco, but instead he finds the "on" switch which turns my seat into an amusement park ride. I splurged on attachments.
  3. Monday 3 Sep: In Ottawa, Ontario, the superhuman Rock Pile Jim is on his way north. He plans to walk across the Arctic ice cap this winter, from Greenland to Siberia! It isn't how fast he can go, it's how much he can drag with him for supplies.
  4. Tuesday 4 Sep: To my surprise, Canada has Labour Day much like the U.S. does. The province of Ontario has exactly four Labour Day parades, one of which is in Sarnia, just across the border from Port Huron. Reportedly the Sarnia parade had a drum and bugle corps sneak in near the end, along with some tanks. That would actually make sense, but I missed it. Sorry, Sarnia, but a superhuman in the capital city trumps a parade on the border.
  5. Wednesday 5 Sep: Transit day, Ontario to Massachusetts. In the news, the superhuman boxer Lucianus Autonomus says, every Palestinian should have a cell phone - and extra for guests. Sounds good to me, because I live like a refugee anyway.
  6. Thursday 6 Sep: Party with some old friends in Massachusetts, back among the U.S. Gov-funded mages at the FERG Hotel. I'm the guest of honor, because I brought my car with some furniture to donate. Besides, well, the Hotel was kind of named after me.
  7. Friday 7 Sep: One of my friends there has taken sleeping pills. We make him spew them out, because he can't do that at work! If he wants to seek Death on his own time, that's his business. But in my own experience, Death is too easy to stumble across already.
  8. Week 2:

  9. Saturday 8 Sep: Transit day. I sleep, while my car drives me back to Port Huron. I can store the car in a locked garage in Sarnia on the Canadian side. Then I cross the border at about 1 pm on my own, and get some rest. I just don't feel like an extra hour of border crossing.
  10. Sunday 9 Sep: Stay home for once, vegetate, and watch the news. Someone's assembled blocks of a mood-altering explosive which is found in trace amounts on coins.
  11. Monday 10 Sep: Stay home for once, clean house, and watch the news. Two policemen are on the phone with a hooker to talk about a memorial service, but one of them gets a cartoonish groiny throbbing and has to go take care of it. Could there be Toons involved? I've actually seen a Toon that looked like Monster In My Pants.
  12. Tuesday 11 Sep: One more day of rest. Web journal story to cover tomorrow, but it's a short drive, once I get my car. I go get it and cross the Canadian border for the record, just in case U.S. Homeland Security tracks the use of my credit card when I'm supposedly in Canada.
  13. Wednesday 12 Sep: A man in Lansing, Michigan can make a perfect line drawing of his hand now. That's his superpower! Hey, it makes as much sense as some other powers.
  14. Thursday 13 Sep: Transit day. Game convention tomorrow, but refreshingly close in Fort Wayne, Indiana.
  15. Friday 14 Sep: Game time in Fort Wayne! I portray Lobo in a fitness contest against Light Lass. Lobo's losing at jumping jacks, 'cause the Main Man don't jump for nobody.
  16. Week 3:

  17. Saturday 15 Sep: Transit day. I'm missing convention time, but I'm being paid well for it. Prince Pierre of Monaco has invited me to his principality, in my role as a consultant on superhumans. And I get to ride a private jet from Fort Wayne! My car's still there, but it can drive itself home.
  18. Sunday 16 Sep: I can't concentrate because Radio Monaco is playing an annoying pop song. Fortunately my meeting's tomorrow.
  19. Monday 17 Sep: Monaco is 4 km long and mostly 1/2 km wide. As such, it only has one park, named after one Princesse Antoinatta. But that park has seen some strange things. Like a green maw, and some shrinking.
  20. Tuesday 18 Sep: You'd think I'd stay in Monaco for a bit, but I have an appointment. I visit Congregationalist church friends in Massachusetts, and some of my Episcopalian friends from Illinois visit too. Seeing them together and not recreating the English Civil War, is worth leaving Monaco. Prince Pierre's private jet drops me off at Worcester, refreshingly not Boston Logan Airport.
  21. Wednesday 19 Sep: The Massachusetts church youth group is leaving a retreat on Sunday to go to Montreal! Fortunately I've been through there in the 1990s and can direct them to the visitor center. Hopefully they'll stay away from the seedy part of town where if the prostitutes can't get you to go with them, they'll at least ask you to buy them a drink. But speaking of towns of ill repute...
  22. Thursday 20 Sep: Going to New Orleans! I'll find my own way there. I'll be at a hotel which advertises to European patrons.
  23. Friday 21 Sep: In New Orleans, I've met some high school friends for a game convention. We're all from Indiana, but we've decided not to hold our reunions there. We're too tired to do much in the bars, but the games are boring.
  24. Week 4:

  25. Saturday 22 Sep: Back in Sarnia, Queen Elizabeth is coming to town for Sunday school at the local Anglican church! And she's dyed her hair black. A political statement of vigilance and vigor, I suppose, since the U.S. is stationing militiamen across the border. But I'll be missing it. Yesterday in New Orleans may have been boring, but boredom doesn't usually last long in my life.
  26. Sunday 23 Sep: Transit day. When the convention is over in Louisiana, I'm going back to Massachusetts.
  27. Monday 24 Sep: Back in Port Huron, they're building up for a Gettysburg reenactment. They're also building a bypass highway 494. Well, the place is home to a military buildup. But I can't stay and watch, because I'm due in Massachusetts! My contacts at DuoPolarity N.A. have given me a tip: something big coming down at Fort Devens tomorrow.
  28. Tuesday 25 Sep: And so I see the Earthfall of the secret lunar base! I got to admit, that base had it coming.
  29. Wednesday 26 Sep: Transit day. Leaving Massachusetts in the direction of Michigan. I'm walking, so to speak.
  30. Thursday 27 Sep: Back in Port Huron, I'm teaching a youth group how to do corrupt things. I'm good at that.
  31. Friday 28 Sep: Abortive romance day.
  32. Week 4+:

  33. Saturday 29 Sep: There's a warm square inlet in Washington state. I'm a long way from shore, but fortunately I can touch the sand on the bottom.
  34. Sunday 30 Sep: On the Lake Michigan waterfront I see a tourist view including paint on the sidewalk and a rusty water tower. Maybe they should clean up here.

So now you know my life, the way I'd like to live it once I dump all that superhuman crap (the way I keep threatening to). But of course, something always comes up. Just not this month.

Could be I'm obsessive-compulsive. Or as some people put it, I dash about the landscape like a monkey on crack. But at least I'm more motivated than a lot of people, and I see lots of stuff.

If you don't hear from me next month, or the month after that... let's just assume it's like this month, eh? But I'll only believe three months of down time happens, when I've lived through it.

Hung Be the Heavens with Black 2 Secret Wings
October

Secret Wings. The United States wants to harness superhumans. Most other countries crave the underlying superhuman technology instead. Friends of mine are in the crosshairs... so by extension, I am too. (9 - 31 Oct)

November

Hung be the Heavens with Black 2. Is it the end of the world again? Maybe not, but it's some heavy international politics - including a nuclear attack on North America. (1 - 5 Nov)

Scouring of the New Shire. Even in grand old hobbit adventures, the victorious adventurers had to clean up their homelands afterward. It seems I have to do that too. (23 Nov)

December

Backlash. I've been declared a master villain!

Superheroes don't talk to me much, but I still have access to an e-mail grapevine. Now, I've been told I might be getting stalked by a shrunken hunter. She's small enough to hide in a pill jar - by the edge, in case there's another pill jar inside. (23 Dec)

It seems for now, this is not a fight against my villainhood, it's just industrial bargaining. Once we give Johnny Rotten (a.k.a. John Lyden of Public Image Limited) a slot in the alien broadcast schedule, he's satisfied. But he says I'm a wanker for attacking him in midair when he just wanted to talk.

Oops, I guess I'm paranoid. But it doesn't mean people aren't out to get me.

What Have We Learned This Year? (31 Dec)


Me in a Superhuman World:
Startup Escalation 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 Tabloids Others Me .
This Year: Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec.

All characters in this fiction are copyright © 2007 by Eiler Technical Enterprises. So is the phrase "Superhuman World 2007". The map of the Superhuman World is based on one from Henry Bottomley's map software which is well worth a visit.