- I'm living with my friend Judy Kraaco, who's raised three nieces to adulthood. She has a nephew too, but he had superhuman powers and got raised by superhumans. Turns out Aunt Judy has one more niece she never told me about!
- ... Judy says she did tell me about Mary, but technically she's a grandniece. Okay, maybe I forgot about Mary. I usually do try to forget about children.
- Mary was there as an infant when her uncle Billy first started using his powers for the Total Conversion Foundation. Tests showed she had potential for her own powers. Thankfully she avoided getting raised by the Foundation, but she showed up often for further tests.
- She didn't manifest superhuman power, except when Billy was around. When Billy summoned his magic friend Big Bob, Mary could give Bob orders!
- Under conditions I have yet to find the full story of, Big Bob got neutralized earlier this year, while Mary was playing with him. She feels responsible.
- Now Mary is fourteen years old, though with roughly an eight-year-old mind. Somehow she's not getting Panlucida powers the way normal women are; it seems emotional maturity is required. So she's on a quest to get powers, both for herself and her Uncle Bill.
- In Mary's mind, she just has to find the right mystic entities to sponsor her. Bible women are mystic entities, right? Certain of the Black Mages are doing nothing to disabuse her. One of them told her that with one unspeakable word, he'd gotten Captain Horror powers from five monsters including Cthulhu.
- So with help from black magic, Mary's raising the spirits of Salome, Herodias, Athaliah, Jezebel, and the Medium of Endor. The Medium comes first; she specializes in raising spirits. Two evil mother-daughter teams come next.
- Powers from these five? Well, not exactly. Mary's devious, she can dance like crazy, and she can talk with the dead. But she finally has the power of five women - just like most other women in the world have. Unfortunately these five are evil women, and they want more.
- For more power, they're tracking down Jezebel's mother goddess - Asherah! Jezebel proudly explains and Herodias confirms, Asherah-worship competed with Jehovah-worship all through Israelite history, only Asherah was multicultural and tolerant. Mother-goddess vs. father-god. With Asherah on the team, Mary's magic word is now SHAJAM!
- Hey, fighting Mary Mystery sounds like a job for the Rainbow Kids! Most recently they've fought two Doom children who swap armor. (1 Jul)
- Let's just hope Judy and I don't get custody of Mary Mystery after it all goes down.