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SW10: Superhuman World 2013 Annual: The New Ambassador from Another World!
Prelude:
Wyatt said, "Giving up on the recount?"
Joe responded, "Yep. Let the third party candidates worry 'bout it. Trump's just gonna buy the Electoral College out from under 'em."
"Are you sure you don't want to just go back to Crusher Island?"
"Damn sure."
"You know my own history with Crusher Island. I'd probably immigrate there right now."
"Not this time, pal. There's still things need crushing."
"Well, okay. I can't get you all the way where you're going."
"Just get me where you can."
In her office at Ordered Realities Plaza, Kristi Halsted got a message from the Chancellor Wyatt. "Better check the Badge Station at Brantford. We might have a new ambassador to deal with."
Kristi clicked on a link in the message. It showed Crusher Joe Corrigan.
She thought... Oh, my God.
Kristi had come to Ordered Realities from Crusher Joe's earth. He'd been the U.S. Vice-President - and then the President. She'd only been a refugee from a doomed future. But somehow she'd wound up representing her world here.
There was so much politics here. (Was the right term "were so many politics"?) But the Chancellor Wyatt Ferguson had helped her through those. He was her nearest thing to a friend now. In return, she worked closely with him. She even went on missions for him occasionally.
There'd been a Wyatt Ferguson on her homeworld too. He'd flitted through life with bursts of activity. One of those activities was to steal her from her doomed future. But then he left her. She'd drifted into associations with American Indians and militias. But all those were either helpless or crazy.
Meanwhile her world drifted back to the same doomed future she'd fled. They were calling it the Icepocalypse. U.S. President Trump had taken office this year, right on schedule. So it made sense Crusher Joe had left to come here.
Fine. She'd never wanted an Ambassador job anyway. But the way Crusher Joe was acting, he'd still smash his way into that job. She'd better go surrender, outside of town.
Most people called Kristi "Animal Woman". She had eagle powers, among others. So she flew to meet Crusher Joe.
Crusher Joe couldn't cross the universes on his own; maybe his own Wyatt Ferguson had brought him. But Joe moved faster than other visitors; he could leap half a mile at a time. The Chancellor Wyatt had command of any number of radiation monsters who could have at least slowed him down, but Wyatt had wisely chosen to avoid that confrontation. So Crusher Joe had almost made it to the suburbs of Warsaw-St. Lawrence by the time Kristi met him.
He was carrying another man as he jumped. That man was dressed in a tweed jacket and looked British. Perhaps Crusher Joe had found another advisor.
Crusher Joe landed from a leap, put the man down, and looked up at Kristi. "Ambassador Halsted. You are relieved."
"I sure am..." Kristi landed. "You remember I never wanted this job, right?"
"Right... You sure didn't do it."
"Whaat?"
"You remember that time Ordered Realities blockaded our world? You were right there with that bastard Chancellor Wyatt when he announced it! You in bed with him or something?"
"WHAAT? ... GRAAR!"
Kristi had whale powers. She slapped Crusher Joe. Hard. Hard enough to launch him over a hill.
She turned to the other man. "Why'd he bring you?"
He fidgeted. "Err, young lady, I'm merely traveling with him. We met at your badge station. Permit me to introduce myself." He handed her a business card. "I am Doctor Joseph Biggby-Fisher, traveling to represent my own world in your Congress of Ordered Realities."
By then, Crusher Joe was coming back. He smash-landed in front of them. Kristi stayed vertical, but Doctor Joseph fell down.
Yet the Doctor scrambled back up, and stood in front of Kristi. "Mister Corrigan, you have insulted this young lady's honor. I must ask you to explain yourself!"
"Uh..." Crusher Joe was stymied briefly, but he recovered. "'In bed with the enemy' is just an expression, Doctor."
"Regardless who is whose enemy, I don't believe I care for your expressions!"
"Uh... Regardless of what you care, you should probably stand aside." Crusher Joe grasped Doctor Joseph's wrist between thumb and forefinger. He was probably doing that as gently as he could, yet the Doctor winced as the Crusher yanked him aside.
Crusher Joe now towered over Kristi as he said, "I say again, Kristi, you are relieved. I'm going to invite you to go home now."
Kristi yelled, "You already know that's not my home now!"
"Yeah, but I can't have you colluding with the enemy."
An amplified voice came from the sky. It was Wyatt's voice! "Ex-President Joseph Corrigan, stand down and present your credentials to Ambassador Kristi Halsted."
Kristi looked up. Drones flew there, painting Crusher Joe with laser targets. Radiation monsters were striding and leaping in. Superhuman undersea creatures were climbing up from the Saint Lawrence River. There were even a couple of thunder gods flying in.
"... Fine." Crusher Joe handed Kristi an envelope. "You'll be glad to know I wrote these myself."
Kristi looked at him skeptically. "So who will you be reporting to?"
"Reporting is for sucks. Y'know I never asked you to report, Kristi. But I damn sure won't be reporting to President Trump."
The Chancellor's voice spoke from one of the drones. "You realize you have to have some contact on your home world."
"Okay, yeah. It's Wyatt Ferguson. The real Wyatt. Until he delegates."
"Reality aside... That does meet Ordered Realities rules. We're actually kind of loose about that... Ambassador Kristi, do you yield your position?"
Kristi responded. "Well, yes. That's what I came here to do."
"So noted for the record. Welcome, Ambassador Corrigan. Perhaps Kristi will consent to settle you in. Otherwise, well, you might have trouble even finding your embassy."
Crusher Joe looked at Kristi. She smirked back. "I'm now officially unemployed. What you got for me?"
Kristi had a vox link to the Chancellor. He said secretly, "If you had any doubt, you always have a place here."
Kristi muttered, "I know."
Crusher Joe looked at Kristi muttering. "Who you talking to, girl?"
"Not you... Got an answer?"
"Uhh... One-week contract!"
"Okaay... Terms of payment?"
"The usual sort of precious metals from Fort Knox. I brought some."
Kristi shook Crusher Joe's hand. "Well then. We'll send you a bill. Welcome to Ordered Realities!"
Then she turned to the rumpled Doctor Joseph. "And you, Doctor. Do you need any help settling in?"
He goggled, but said, "Yes, that would be most appreciated. But I have no Fortress Knox to draw upon."
Kristi responded, "Oh, I think that won't be a problem."
The Chancellor Wyatt responded from drone, "Kristi, you are correct. Welcome, Ambassador Biggby-Fisher!"
Author's Notes:
I'm submitting this as a Buddy Story for a Rec.Arts.Comics.Creative High Concept Challenge. This may not be from the buddies' point of view, but the new buddies traveling together are actually fairly important to the story.
Dramatis Personae, as last seen from the viewpoint of 2013:
- Wyatt Ferguson. (Powernaut 2011. www.eilertech.com/stories/powernaut/2011.htm)
- U.S. President Crusher Joe Corrigan. Last seen with the Chief Justice waiting to administer the Oath of Office in Powernaut 2011.
- Kristi Halsted, the Animal Woman. ("Deputy Ambassador to Another World!", www.eilertech.com/stories/2011/deputy.txt)
- The Chancellor Wyatt Ferguson. ("The Adventures of Lady Sherlock: The Report", www.eilertech.com/stories/2011/sherlock.txt)
- Doctor Joseph Biggby-Fisher. From "Britannia Beach". (www.eilertech.com/stories/2011/britannia_beach.txt) Just as soon as I feel like pursuing a new series as vigorously as I've pursued "New Bosnia", we can expect one which features this Doctor... Well, more likely he'll be a background character somewhere.
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