Me in Comic Books: Startup Escalation 1999 2000 2001 Airplane Down 2002 2003 2004 .

Airplane Down

A Story of Me in Comic Books

I've teleported onto a hijacked jumbo jet that's going down in the mountains. I thought it was the Rockies at first, but the mountains are too smooth, so it's probably Appalachia; we're just awfully close to the ground. Looks like this is it for us...

I come to, and realize what's happened. I'm here for a reason: I'm the Deputy Champion of Death now, and I have a job to do.

  • Oddly enough, there's no wreckage, and no bodies strewn all over the place. That kind of thing happens in the land of the living, but the land of Death is nothing if not orderly. Most everyone's back in their seats, though there are some extras standing up by the cockpit. But they're kind of unfocused right now.
  • There's a new crew coming on board the plane, dressed in steward uniforms with some extras. There's a couple of big burly guys with turbans and huge holsters, and some women with hoods on.
  • Hey, I think that small pale woman is the Boss. And surely enough, she comes up and hands me a microphone. I may not like to talk a lot, but compared to her, I'm a $#@!ing cheerleader.
  • So, I start talking.

  • "Good morning, passengers and crew. As you've no doubt figured out for yourselves, this is the terminating point of your flight.
  • "At this point, a new crew is taking over flight duties. Please remain stationary while they conduct a final sweep of the cabin before we disembark.
  • "For those of you whose final destination is the City of God, the stewardesses will hand you a copy of the Book of Life. You will each find your name on the last page. Please show that page to the customs authorities inside the terminal. For those of you who are travelling elsewhere, connecting information will be provided at the gate.
  • "Now, your security staff will be tending to one last duty..."
  • The two guys in the turbans march swifly up the aisles toward the cockpit. Scimitars come out of their scabbards. They each make two swings, and four heads fall to the ground. And I still have the microphone...

  • "The bodies of certain passengers will know the joys of Paradise as the Prophet promised, but their heads which caused them to sin will be properly disposed in the Lake of Fire."
  • The rest of the plane starts cheering. When it dies down, I continue...

  • "The plane is now ready for disembarkment. On behalf of your new cabin crew, we thank you for landing with us. We realize this was not the first choice in destinations for any of you today, but we hope to make your travel experience as pleasant as possible."
  • As the passengers deplane, I get a chance to look out the cockpit. It's a beautiful sunny morning here. There's a crystal city up on the nearest high hill, and people are climbing up to it on a crystal escalator.

    I turn to the Boss and say, "I didn't ask for this job, but sights like this are why I stay on."


    Me in Comic Books: Startup Escalation 1999 2000 2001 Airplane Down 2002 2003 2004 .