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Domination of Eiler Journal #7

Operation Freebooter

Domination of Central Wisconsin, 2005


Operational Map

For the benefit of its coalition partners at "Socialist Bureaucratic Commune", the Domination of Eiler now plans its conquests outside the Illinois Core Territories up to a year in advance. The original "Plan A" for the Domination's June offensive had Domination forces airlifting to Alaska to establish an outpost. An entire week was reserved for this purpose.

However, the coalition partner "Untied Airlies" failed to deliver on a frequent flier award which was pivotal to the Alaska operation. 25,000 miles should have sufficed, but now "Untied" wants 35,000 for priority (non-"Super Saver") transport. Of course, an airlift to Alaska during the time of the Midnight Sun is not "Super Saver".

So, the Domination has re-prioritized its operations. With that same week in June, Domination forces could subjugate the large majority of Wisconsin, and extend the Domination's frontline all the way to Lake Superior. This was adopted as "Plan B".

But then, the Domination acquired other targets. In conjunction with the upcoming Domination invasion of Brazil, the Domination of Eiler has scaled back its other objectives for the summer.

Now under "Plan C", only three days plus a weekend are available for the June offensive. But this is still adequate time to expand the Domination's frontline into central Wisconsin. The Domination Guard has assembled an armored and cavalry combined-arms expeditionary force for this purpose.

Day 0: Tuesday 21 June 2005

Domination forces left the Core Territories shortly after 5 pm, and braved the Great Barrier Road (a.k.a. "I-90"). (Operational music "Pirates". This inspires the operational designation "Freebooter", which is like a pirate, only cooler and sometimes less reprehensible, depending on whether their cause wins.)

There was some resistance through Elgin, but (as ever) it evaporated after that. Domination forces exploited this success to penetrate half an hour into Wisconsin, to the town of Janesville, by 7 pm. That town is heavy with hotels, and provided a good break point.

Day 1: Wednesday 22 June 2005

Surprisingly, Janesville provides some tourist attractions, just never all open at the same time (as of this date):

The Domination has chosen to file these Janesville attractions for future reference, and instead press on to the Wisconsin Dells, which promises a day and two nights of fun.

It turns out the Town of Wisconsin Dells is a reasonably legitimate working-class community, complete with freight trains, thrift stores, and Mom and Pop hotels... but you have to go midtown and off Main Street for that, and ignore the resorts, water parks, and trashy souvenir stores that you will see on the way.

Day 2: Thursday 23 June 2005

Domination forces reported for complimentary fresh-cooked breakfast in good order, then assembled for a bike mission to the Lower Dells.

Then back uptown, where the Domination Guard infantry walked the River Walk south of town... and found the River Walk doesn't go south. Undeterred, the Domination proceeded anyway, along some very unofficial trails, to the foot of the local hydroelectric dam (which separates Upper Dells from Lower Dells).

A new hiking stick was conquered on the way back, near the Amtrak station. There followed some hours of sitting on the front porch, drinking lemonade, carving the new stick, and hanging out by the pool.

Late lunch was conquered at the Essen Haus. Lunch prices till 4 pm, and Happy Hour 3-6 pm - and until midnight tonight! 3:30 therefore proved to be the ideal time for conquest.

Men of Stand Rock

Then, the H.H. Bennett Museum was conquered. It is the town museum, except operated by the state, because that's how famous this guy is; he invented the stop-motion photograph. But his story and the town's history are inseparable. He made the Wisconsin Dells famous through shameless hucksterism, the first of generations worth.

The High Rock Cafe was then kind enough to provide some soup, cheap Berghoff, and a cell phone platform, so the Domination cyber-force could catch up on e-mail.

Now, another bike ride and hike up the North Dells (operational music "Hold On, It's Coming", thank you Country Joe McDonald for shielding the Domination force's ears from boat-trash famlee trash music on the beach). Then $3 Beer and Polka Night at Essen Haus. Well, every night is Polka Night at Essen Haus. Life is good.

Day 3: Friday 24 June 2005

Domination day of rest... but really, the troops are just uninspired. 95-degree temperatures have settled in everywhere within driving radius. It's a whopping 5 degrees cooler to the north, but there are strong storms moving through.

The Domination Plan for this operation allows for three different major objectives: Chippewa Falls to the west, Wausau to the north, or Sheboygan to the east. None of these sound particularly tempting today, though. All things being equal, Sheboygan is easier to get home from, and is preferred.

However, Sheboygan is more of a one-day target than a two-day target. Domination armor therefore spent the day driving east through barely-inhabited farmland, then conquering several targets of opportunity around Lake Winnebago, mostly air-conditioned.

The storms have arrived in town. A quiet night in the hotel, and sports pub ($3.25 22-ounce Leinenkugel drafts, 1-7 pm each day), and whirlpool, and sauna, is therefore planned.

Day 4: Saturday 25 June 2005

Domination day of resurgence.

Indications are, Sheboygan's best hotels are booked solid this weekend. So, Domination forces are staying on in Appleton to ensure complete subjugation! The bicycle and infantry forces are spending the day on patrol throughout the community. These targets are submitting, one by one:

Appleton has gotten much conquest from the Domination. The merchants there have eagerly exposed each other to the patrolling Domination forces - or as one merchant put it, "cross-publicizing" each other.

In short, "cross-publicizing" seems to be working for Appleton.

Day 5: Sunday 26 June 2005

The Domination expeditionary force went into Rapid Deployment mode this morning. Return from Appleton to the eastern fringe of the Core Territories took under three hours. (Operational music "Up There, Down There".)

Ribbon of Domination

Overall, this operation is successful. The Dominator is pleased.

As ever, Domination of Eiler forces return triumphant, all praise to the One Maker.

(signed) Dominator S. Eiler, Fist of the One Maker, for the Domination of Eiler.

The Domination of Eiler believes in free sharing of information. But if you wish to reproduce significant parts of the commentary within, be aware that it is © copyright 2005 by Eiler Technical Enterprises. And have a niiiice daay.