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Domination Journal #4

Operation Darkflower II

Domination Operations in Northern Indiana, 2004

The Domination of Eiler is following up on the success of last week's Operation Darkflower, by conducting a similar operation of armor to reinforce Domination control near the Core Territories.

This weekend's exercise also involves an invocation of the Eiler Doctrine in Niles, Michigan, in conjunction with the U.S. Thanksgiving holiday. Based on weather considerations (several days of region-wide rain and snow, much like last weekend), northern Indiana has been chosen as a target.

Day 0: Wednesday 24 November 2004

An early start to the operation was not in order. Even if it weren't the biggest travel day of the year, and even if it hadn't been snowing, it still sucks to drive past Chicago on a worknight.

Day 1: Thursday 25 November 2004

Domination forces moved out in good order on a sunny morning. Operational music "Hanging from the Wreckage".

  • Roads were in excellent condition and traffic was light (by Chicago standards), but there was still considerable opposition from ice buildup on the armored vehicle, from several rebellious barricades on major highways (apparently coping with moronic driving), and from a time zone change.
  • Fortunately, Domination forces arrived for Thanksgiving mess hall in time to be fed alongside associate-Eilers, with about ten minutes to spare.

    Eiler Doctrine intervention a success.

  • Associate-Eilers were particularly impressed with getting their Christmas presents a month in advance, due to the many trophies captured in Operation Darkflower.
  • One such trophy was a growler caddy with growler full of Domination-grade brewpub beer. The contents were consumed on the spot and well received.
  • The Domination Guard even led a deployment of larval-Eilers on a hike. It was very, very short by Guard standards, but still undoubtely well received by those the larva left behind.

    Domination forces broke loose around 6 pm, for deployment to prearranged barracks "Howard Johnson's" in South Bend (technically its suburb Roseland), Indiana. Operational music "Going South".

  • A longer hike immediately ensued, just to finally walk off Thanksgiving dinner... and so the campus of St. Mary's, including many well-plowed sidewalks, some pretty buildings and statues, and a very stylish hotel, was conquered.
  • Domination Guard infantry then stopped into local pub "Cheers" to swap Thanksgiving horror stories with the Domination's local militia. It became apparent, the Domination of Eiler is lacking in true Thanksgiving horror unless it draws upon its residents.
  • Day 2: Friday 26 November 2004

    Domination day of rest... but a full day anyway.

    Domination Guard armor first moved into downtown South Bend, to conquer "Northern Indiana Center for History". Museum has several galleries, including (at the time of writing) WW2 culture, and took an hour to subjugate.

    The main target for the day was Nappanee, home of "Amish Acres", perhaps the world's only Amish amusement park.

  • Domination Guard armor drove in to Nappanee from the north, moved east and west along the main drag, and dismounted for infantry operations at the town center to ensure total subjugation.
  • Suffice it to say, the Domination finds the town-proper survivable for barracks, but not worth more than an evening starting at 5 pm. It still being noontime, Domination infantry force remounted into armored carrier, and invaded Amish Acres, about a mile west of downtown Nappanee.
  • The main tour of Amish Acres is guided and takes two hours, well-scheduled because they time the tours. It involves historic buildings (moved in from throughout northern Indiana), a tractor-drawn wagon ride, live animals (but don't pet them, they are actual farm animals and they bite!), and a half hour of Amish propaganda films. If one believes the films, the Amish movement is booming due to recruitment.
  • The Amish restaurant offers all the boiled meat you can eat, family-style. But Domination forces instead returned to downtown Nappanee and fed the troops with chicken fried steak at local pub "Hunter's Hideaway".
  • Several small shops on Amish Acres premises offer things like:
  • They even hold theatre on site: the Amish Acres Round Barn Theatre!
  • Yay, Evil!
  • "Seussical" can be summed up as "Crisis on Earth-Seuss", wherein a massive crossover occurs and most of the villains get turned loose at once. Whoville is beleagured, the heroic Horton the Elephant is overworked, and the Cat in the Hat just enjoys the fun.
  • Barracks "Inn at Amish Acres" was chosen for its convenience to all of the above, plus ability to provide a nap for the troops. Its quarters would be Domination-grade, if only the walls were thicker.

    Day 3: Saturday 27 November 2004

    Domination day of resurgence. Domination Guard armor drove west along U.S. Highway 6, which was found to be a good and worthy alternative to other roads in the region. Yes, U.S. 6 only has one lane each way, but one lane's all you need.

    Targets for the day were chosen with the intent of bypassing resistance on the Hellroad, a.k.a. I-80/94:

  • Target of opportunity Walkerton. It has some Eiler Doctrine associations, but the main attraction there is a thrift store. The village was thoroughly conquered in fifteen minutes, but no trophies were obtained.
  • Target of opportunity Anderson Winery, in Portage County. Domination forces conquered a case of assorted fruit wines there, plus ingredients for Domination-grade homebrew. Ask where the discount bins are!
  • Target Valparaiso. As a college town, one might expect it to provide Domination-grade opportunities for amusement. But mostly it just has trashy strip malls. Conquest was deemed irrelevant.
  • Target Merrillville. Surprisingly, this is home to a major entertainment compound, the Star Theatre. Its main attractions that night (being "The Dells" and other 1950s Motown music survivors) were not of interest, but it also has a comedy club.

    Domination forces settled in at Merrillville barracks "Courtyard", the cheapest provider which could provide a swimming pool near theatre shows, and made comedy club reservations for the Dominator.

  • Barracks are convenient to an entire menu full of full-service restaurants, and each restaurant is well known to most North Americans. Midday mess at "Hooters", followed by exercises in stickcarving (one stick was conquered in the hotel backlot, despite continuing rain), cyberspace, and aqua-Domination of a hot tub. Evening mess at "Lone Star". Operational music "Shakedown Street".

    Comedy club environs hopping, due to fashion show letting out, concertgoers waiting for Motown concert, reasonably-priced beer at atrium bar, and live band in spacious hotel atrium for free. However...

    Club "Wisecrackers" is a smallish poorly-lit poorly-ventilated room up a poorly-labeled stairwell, with no restrooms of its own, and only fine bottled beers such as the Miller Genuine Draft of Milwaukee.

  • Club has a two-drink minimum, which should be no problem for Domination Guard forces, but watch out if the comedians start heckling the Dominator, because (in comedy as in any realm) the Guard often counterattacks in kind. (This has gotten rude comments from bouncers in the past.)
  • ... Fortunately, not a problem. Headliner was one Brad Tassell, who (when stuck in a room full of mostly 20-somethings) only heckles people who are not 40+, and so the Dominator was exempt.
  • Day 4: Sunday 28 November 2004

    Domination forces moved out at a earlier hour than typical. Given the earliness of the hour, Domination armor braved the Hellroad, a.k.a. I-80/94. This gamble worked, thereby enabling the Domination choral force to observe Kingdom-of-Heaven obeisance with its coalition partners in the Core Territories.

    As ever, Domination of Eiler forces return triumphant, all praise to the One Maker.

    (signed) S. Dominator Eiler for the Domination of Eiler.

    The Domination of Eiler believes in free sharing of information. So if, for instance, you are a comedian who has just visited Amish Acres and needs material for a comedy skit, as if Amish Acres itself weren't enough, go wild with what little you may learn here. But if you wish to reproduce significant parts of the commentary within, be aware that it is © copyright 2004 by Eiler Technical Enterprises. And have a niiiice daay.