February 2004
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This Month's Other Stories:
Super Powers from Indian Vision Quests
Bride of the Ultimate Darkness!
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Wrestler Elected Governor of California
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GIANT ROBOT BREAKS AFGHAN BLOCKADE
Superhumans, Nukes Deployed Against It
A 100-foot humanoid robot successfully penetrated the international blockade of Afghanistan, breaking through Egyptian and Jordanian troops stationed at the Pakistani frontier. A United Nations peacekeeping force of technicians and superhumans pursued the robot into Afghanistan, and reprogrammed it to march into western Tibet. The Chinese armed forces then launched a nuclear missle against the robot, and destroyed it. (31 January)
SUPERHUMANS FIGHT IN NETHERLANDS
Corporation Claims Right To Intervene
Superhumans of the Total Conversion Foundation, including the famous Ellipsis, Stonewater, and the Red Dragon, were involved in a fight in the Dutch city of Rotterdam. By all accounts, the fight was fierce. Total Conversion spokesperson Jill Stern stated the Foundation was acting in due diligence to ensure that their technology was not involved in the recent robot incident in Afghanistan. (2 February)
SUPERHUMANS FIGHT IN CALIFORNIA
Blanket of Darkness Ends Fight
Various superhumans, largely unidentifiable, were involved in a confrontation between protesters and counter-protestors over the Aleutian issue, in the California city of Berkeley. The protestors appeared to be led by one "Mister Discipline", the counter-protest team by one "Exterminating Son". The fight came to an abrupt end, when the crowd was shrouded in unexplained darkness which lasted almost a minute. When the darkness lifted, several combatants were left in shock. Governor Corrigan stated that the State of California would act quickly to suppress further superhuman incidents. (5 February)
GIANT ROBOT PROGRAMMER TAKES CREDIT
Is Now Hiding In Southeast Asia
A man calling himself "Madfinger" has claimed credit for the giant robot which invaded Afghanistan last week. He says he is now in Laos, programming another giant robot. "I love to sit in the head chamber, turn on the air conditioning, and drink cool beverages," he said. "I can even use the hologram generator to duck out on uninvited guests." (10 February)
SUPERHUMANS FIGHT IN NYC
Abe Lincoln Rescues The Vigilantes!
A coalition of vigilante superhumans in New York City got an unexpected reinforcement in their fight against crime on Lincoln's birthday, when Abraham Lincoln himself swooped down from the sky, dressed in his traditional outfit plus an opera cape, to trample the grapes of wrath! "He was like Batman with a stovepipe hat," a bystander said. (12 February)