Startup Escalation 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 Waitress .
Superhuman World 2010 is a work of fiction. The characters herein and the commentary about them should not be considered "real".
SUPERHUMAN WORLD 2010
The Waitress from Beyond
I met this waitress, but she's quite capable of speaking for herself. With a reporter's help, of course. Despite what the cover might imply, I wasn't that reporter...
Okay, I said the truth. Let the story commence.
(signed) Wyatt Ferguson.
How Does Our Earth Look to an Immigrant?
I came to your Earth with Jimmy Flamer, the Man-Torch. He has this scientist friend who found the way there from our Earth. Your Earth's orbit was intersecting our Earth's orbit or something. Most Earths don't do that, but yours was special.
Jimmy left our old Earth because the authorities were looking into all the times he burned people. Jimmy always said he was a lover, not a fighter, so he never tried to get into fights. But he did have to fight a lot, because he was a flamer in more ways than one. When Jimmy did get in trouble, flame was all he had.
I stood up for Jimmy at this diner where I worked. So I got fired. So to speak. I got blacklisted too.
The government was looking into who supported anyone with powers like Jimmy's. They were saying, people can't carry flamethrowers in public, so why can Jimmy even go out in public?
It wasn't just about flames. Any kind of superpower was enough to make people nervous then. The government started making people register their powers, like for the draft. Hey, I can light matches, do I have to register too?
So Jimmy left. My landlord was harassing me because of the government, so I went with Jimmy.
A scientist friend of Jimmy saw this other Earth in the sky somehow. He must have had special instruments. Anyway, he sent us there.
This Earth didn't really care where I came from. They already knew about other Earths. Someone kind of like Jesse Ventura had come from one of these Earths to be Vice-President in place of Joe Biden! That just rocks.
They didn't know about Jimmy and my Earth at first, but we got to stay on appeal. Like, where would they put me otherwise? Luckily, something called The Ministry of Speed sped our appeal process through. They rock.
This Earth was a lot farther along in dealing with superpowers than mine was. They had the superhumans in concentration camp in 2006, but that didn't last. Now one of them is Vice-President.
Earth here is going through climate change - but global cooling, not global warming. The weather's bad enough that the superheroes weren't fighting each other. Supervillains mostly weren't fighting people either. Wow, that's like heaven for me.
There's still food, so I can still serve it. Jimmy goes everywhere, but I wound up in Worcester, Massachusetts. I work in a Greek restaurant. We've got spinach pie for $8, and we can still manage some $3 appetizers.
I'm not getting in trouble just for knowing someone who turns into flame. People are asking me and Jimmy over for fireplace parties.
There's even a lady wrestling league starting up. There's been some international scandal about lady wrestling leagues - so people want to see that stuff if it's legit. I used to do it, and I'm still good at it, even if I'm pushing forty. I got into a big tourney coming up in Sudbury, Massachusetts. They say they might even give us superpowers to make it interesting.
So yeah, this works for me.
Afterword by Wyatt Ferguson.
Unlike global warming used to be, global cooling is undeniable. I've heard rumors of crop failures, so the jury's still out on whether we survive. The Trillions have offered to help put us into suspended animation, just like most of themselves still are after crossing the Galaxy to come here. So at least there's some way out.
Lady wrestling is also undeniable. When the Russian slave-wrestling ring got busted, reality TV series had to scramble to find more. I even got invited to a tournament, for an exhibition match against my old rival Patty Abdol! I'd actually met Nell in the restaurant she works in, because it's near the tournament, so I was surprised to find her competing. Heh, that's life. (1-4 July)
Since the tournament started, I think someone may have given Nell salmon powers. In any case, she got into a contest to swim up a waterfall - up Mount St. Helens. They created the waterfall especially for this contest. And Nell won! Yeah, I could have flown up, but I was disqualified. (7 - 8 July)
I don't know who gives out powers like that; I'll have to ask. Everyone I ask who doesn't know, will want to know too. So I think we'll find out.
This story is technically June 2010 #1 (and only).
All characters in this fiction and the phrase "Superhuman World 2010" are copyright © 2010 by Eiler Technical Enterprises. The map of the Superhuman World is based on one from Henry Bottomley's map software which is well worth a visit.
(signed) Scott Eiler, 22 May 2010.