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Domination of Eiler Journal #10

Operation Camelot-Song

Domination of Chicago's Theatre District, 2006

What Is the Domination of Eiler?

In one sense, "The Domination of Eiler" is a political entity modeled upon the Holy Roman Empire. Which is to say, it works through national and local political entities, but transcends nation-state boundaries. You may already be a citizen without knowing it!

In another sense, "The Domination of Eiler" is a pen name for an amateur but very prolific web journalist. Perhaps you may enjoy these travel writings, given this simple guide:

  • The Domination of Eiler is led by, of course, the Dominator.
  • Its chief military force, and bodyguard of the Dominator, is the Domination Guard.
  • The Domination's world headquarters is in Scumburg-Illinois, near Chicago. As such, Chicago is an occasional target for Domination patrols.
  • The Domination of Eiler is seizing a target of opportunity in Chicago-Illinois. The Monty Python musical "Spamalot" is playing there. And one suspects, "Spamalot" won't be getting recycled into community theatre, the way the Wizard of Oz prequel "Wicked" will be in a few years. When there's a Monty Python big budget musical, one has to seize the moment.

    This operation is covering downtown Chicago, which the Domination patrols semi-regularly. Last year's Consulate Raid gave valuable intelligence on how best to patrol downtown Chicago. This year, the Domination exploits that intelligence.

    Operational Map

    Day 0: Thursday 4 May 2006

    Evening consumed in operational planning. In short, the reservations aren't made and the bags aren't packed yet.

    Day 1: Friday 5 May 2006

    Chicago conquered by bicycle! The Conquering NARF-Cycle mountain bike, that is. The Domination's expeditionary forces found out long ago, hardiness beats speed on an extended bike trip.

    Weather conditions nearly ideal: cloudy with Fahrenheit temperatures in the 50s. Which is to say, shorts weather by Domination standards.

    A four-hour ride brought the Domination force the thirty-five miles (or so) from Eiler-Base Scumburg to the snooty "Magnificent Mile" district, tired but victorious, and with no worries about bicycles left at the train station.

    "Red Roof Inn" hotel room and shower subdued. It's about as small as a room can be, but surprisingly quiet for how close it is to the street. Being on a side street helps. And the view is unmistakably Chicago, right up close. The John Hancock Tower (distinctive second-tallest Chicago building) has the final word on the view.

    Lunch conquered at nearby "Timothy O'Toole's". This being Cinco de Mayo, the best lunch special at this Irish pub was a burrito. Plus the Leinenkugel Big Butt Doppelbock of Wisconsin.

    After quiet time (read: unsuccessful nap), the Dominator put on his fancy clothes, even unto the Bolo Tie of Labrador which transports nicely via bicycle. "Spamalot" tickets were then picked up at Cadillac Palace theatre, with plenty of time to spare.

    Before the show, decaf cafe latte (which is to say, vaguely coffee-flavored hot milk) conquered at very quiet "Au Bon Pain" in theatre district. The "Corner Bakery Cafe" next door was doing much better business, but had longer lines.

    ... Domination in the Chicago Theatre District is complete. The Dominator has now seen an entire big-budget musical presentation of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail", including an expanded version of "The Camelot Song" performed by a dance troop on stage. What more can one ask of live theatre?

    Small pub crawl after theatre. But Chicago pubs are often disappointing. Tonight no exception.

    Oh well, this will just make the Domination more ready for tomorrow's activities.

    Day 2: Saturday 6 May 2006

    The Domination of Eiler has gone to great effort to bring a bicycle to downtown Chicago, and to store it in a place convenient to a fifteen-mile lakefront bike trail. The undominated southern part of that trail is crying out for Domination today.

    But first... it's Free Comic Book Day, which is practically a Domination holiday. And since last night went kind of late, it's also time for the Breakfast of Champions!

    Then, the long awaited bike patrol on the Chicago Lakefront Trail. Weather conditions were good enough to put on a postcard. Complete with rows of trees in bloom. And fields of dandelions gone to seed. Ain't nature grand?

    Dinner back in "Magnificent Mile" district, at "Heaven on Seven", Cajun food good enough that Chicago has more than one restaurant of that name.

    "Heaven on Seven" was indeed a Domination kind of place. It could have handled dessert too, but the forces went foraging for dessert elsewhere, just for fun. It wasn't supposed to be a pub crawl, but that's the way it turned out.

    Day 3: Sunday 7 May 2006

    Kingdom-of-Heaven obeisance at St. James Episcopal Cathedral. Yes, the "Magnificent Mile" has a couple of churches, but that part of town is so snooty, the churches are both cathedrals.

    The Domination Train was selected to take the Domination bicycle force back to the Township Palatine, thereby leaving Sunday afternoon free for mandatory post-vacation recovery. Every Domination of Eiler vacation practically needs a vacation to recover from.

    Domination expeditionary force debarked intact (well, almost; the bike horn decomposed during handling on the train) and victorious at Palatine train station. Emmett's Tavern provided the wrap dinner.

    Ribbon of Domination

    This operation shows these signs of success:

    Still, Domination of Eiler forces return triumphant, all praise to the One Maker.

    (signed) Dominator S. Eiler, Fist of the One Maker, for the Domination of Eiler.

    The Domination of Eiler believes in free sharing of information. But if you wish to reproduce significant parts of the commentary within, be aware that it is © copyright 2006 by Eiler Technical Enterprises. And have a niiiice daay.