August 8, 2004
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This Month's Other Stories:
My Daughter Dated the Devil's Son
Bug Boy Sighted at Campground
Chinese Emigrating to Other Planets
I Saved Queen Elizabeth From a Whale!
Man Communes with Greek Gods of Speed
Related Stories From Our Archives:
War in Tierra del Fuego!
Animal Woman Fights Argentine Death Squad
Diary of the Bug Boy
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"HERO OF DEATH" INTERVENES IN ARGENTINE DEATH FIGHT
The World Journal Monthly now has exclusive rights to the diary of "D", the Hero of Death! We now present one of "D's" diary entries, which answers some questions about the war in Tierra del Fuego.
Our hero can take the forms of many creatures, including the infamous Bug Boy!
vs. The Death Squad of Death!
I just knew, the next time I turned into "D", I'd get to do something cool. I got to go see the war!
I was supposed to help out with a school project instead. We were decorating pillows to sell at the town Harvest Festival. Like "D" cares, 'cause he has big important stuff to do.
"D" gets his powers from being an official Agent of Death!
When I got the D-Call from Death the Big Boss, I turned into "D" and teleported down to Tierra del Fuego where the war is. "D" can go anywhere Death tells him to!
I saw some people fighting down there. Big deal. People fight all the time.
But there was a Doom Koala watching them! And the Boss knows, Koalas belong in Australia, even Doom Koalas. And Death gets to order Doom around. So I got to tell the Doom Koala to go away. And he did!
Every continent has its own Creature of Doom! Australia gets a Doom Koala!
I don't know why there was a Doom Creature from Australia there, instead of a Doom Creature from South America. But whenever there's a Doom Creature watching something, it's important. The Boss knows that. So she had me watch that fight the Doom Koala was watching.
There was a bunch of people shivering on a beach, 'cause it's winter down there. And there was a bunch of four people with special powers, who wanted to kill them.
The animal woman Kristi Halsted was defending her friends against an Argentine death squad!
These people worshipped Death or something, because they called themselves a Death Squad.
And there was this one woman defending those people against the killers. She had a bunch of animal powers, so she could fight all the wannabe killers.
Death's cool, but the Boss says, Death doesn't need volunteers. So, I was supposed to call the killers off.
The killer squad had one member who couldn't go fight when the other four did. He had special powers like the others, but his powers were killing him. He was being kept alive, but he was ready to die. The Boss knew.
The Argentine death squad had a secret member "El Pufo", already diagnosed with a terminal nerve disorder!
Anyway, the woman who was fighting the killers was about to die. She wanted to live. So "D" went in. He swapped the two lives - living woman for dying killer. The wannabe killer died, the woman lived.
And the rest of the Death Squad just went away. Normal people argue with Death all the time, but THEY didn't.
The wouldabeen victims were still stuck on this beach, in the middle of winter. But they had this guy there who could light big fires out of anything. They called him "Fuego de la Tierra". So he kept them alive, while the animal woman went away for help.
Saved by "D", Kristi was able to bring help for the stranded scientists!
But big deal. It's just more life. "D" only cares about death. So I went back home.
Special to the World Journal Monthly by Stanley T. Levitz