Brasil-and-Outposts, Domination Journal: Operation Rumba
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Minions of Eiler Unite!

Domination of Eiler Special Journal

Plan Rumba

The Domination of Eiler Invades the Southern Hemisphere!

What Is the Domination of Eiler?

In one sense, "The Domination of Eiler" is a political entity modeled upon the Holy Roman Empire. Which is to say, it works through national and local political entities, but transcends nation-state boundaries. You may already be a citizen without knowing it!

In another sense, "The Domination of Eiler" is a pen name for an amateur but very prolific web journalist. Perhaps you may enjoy these travel writings, given this simple guide:

  • The Domination of Eiler is led by, of course, the Dominator.
  • Its chief military force, and bodyguard of the Dominator, is the Domination Guard.
  • The Domination grants its protection to all within its borders, even unto larval humans. Thereby its alliances with children's charities, such as the Christian Children's Fund, or CCF. Thereby, invitations for the Domination to support CCF maneuvers in Third World countries.
  • For over two decades, the Domination of Eiler has engaged in a secret program to ease the passage of North Americans through the Third World, by subsidizing the growth of young women to welcome the travellers. The Domination's coalition partner "Christian Children's Fund", or "CCF", has been pleased to regularly soak up a fraction of the Domination's U.S. dollar reserves for this purpose.

    This year, the program bears fruit which the Domination of Eiler can harvest. "CCF" has now offered its donors a tour of the South American nation-state of Brazil (hereafter referred to as "Brasil"). The Domination is aggressively exploiting this opportunity, to further its worldwide conquests.

    The Domination has designated this operation as "Rumba". This operation will require months of planning and preparation, as well as operations against downtown Chicago, Illinois, Domination of Eiler, where the Brasileiros maintain an outpost in Domination territory. These preparations have been included in the operation journal.


    Friday 27 May 2005: The nation-state of Brasil requires a tourist visa for entry by Domination forces and other residents of areas claimed by the "United States of America". One suspects, Brasil is just mirroring the "United States" requirements on Brasileiro citizens.

    Fortunately, the paperwork is said to be trivial, especially if one can hop a train to downtown Chicago, go up North Michigan Avenue to the Consulado-Geral do Brasil, and bring a passport plus the details of the tour and $100 USD or so. ($110 by mail.) The Dominator therefore makes the "commit" decision for the mission.

    Saturday 28 May 2005: A registration form is sent to reserve the tour, along with a check of roughly $3000 USD. (This is positively cut-rate; an Antarctic cruise with the National Geographic costs $11,000.)

    There is concern, in that "CCF" still reserves the right to say, "You aren't in time for the tour, but thanks for the donation." But the Domination of Eiler in turn reserves the right to say, "Do you ever want donations again?"

    Tuesday 31 May 2005: For this tour, the Domination's expeditionary force has to publicly declare that it does not molest little girls. The Domination of Eiler will readily affirm this, and so will submit to the indignity of a background check.

    Saturday 4 June 2005: "CCF" confirms the Domination's slot on the tour. Phew. Airline reservations to Miami are therefore in order.

    Monday 6 June 2005: Airline to Miami booked for free, thanks. And the Domination's reward balance is good for three more such flights.

    Saturday 2 July 2005: U.S. Post Office Money Order obtained for the visa application, for the convenience of the Consulado-Geral.

    Sunday 3 July 2005: Passport photos obtained for the Brasileiro visa form. Hoffman Estates vendor Jet Photo USA did it within ten minutes, which beats the last place to do that service. The proprietor takes maybe five days off per year, which is too bad for him, but good for the Domination. Recommended!

    The Consulate Raid

    Friday 8 July 2005: Domination forces raided the Consulado-Geral do Brasil em Chicago. Objective: Visa!

    In conjunction with this raid, a rented room has been obtained for two days of Domination patrolling in Chicago and Evanston, in honor of Domination Day. These Chicago places have submitted to the Domination today:

    Saturday 9 July 2005: Domination forces, after the Brazilian consulate raid, moved into Evanston by train. The Chicago Transit Authority gave some opposition, by not providing direct service to Evanston on weekends... but Domination forces prevailed nonetheless. These Evanston places submitted:

    Targets of opportunity emerged in the Wrigleyville neighborhood of Chicago on the way back.

    Sunday 10 July 2005: The Dominator observed Kingdom-of-Heaven obeisance at St. James Episcopal Cathedral. It was very cathedral-like. But if the Domination had known its choir was "pick-up" in the summertime, the Domination Guard choral force could have joined in.

    Return to the Core Territories by the Domination Train. Wrap luncheon at Emmett's Brewery in downtown Palatine.

    Sadly, there was enemy action against the Domination's NARF-Cycle, while it was locked up at the train station: the bike helmet was missing. (The Domination Guard did not even consider the possibility of riding without helmet, nor taking the helmet into Chicago.) A replacement helmet was quickly procured at Mike's Bike Shop, however. The NARF-Cycle itself was unharmed and entirely rideable.

    Despite this action by evil rebels, the Domination declares victory for this raid.

    Inter-Action Report

    CCF is finally giving some details on the tour.

    Statement from the Dominator

    The rumors of this vaguely humanitarian mission to an exotic land, have leaked out in the Core Territories. This mission is actually inspiring those who hear of it, in a way that no mission has since Greenland submitted to the Domination of Eiler.

    Brasileiros, on the other hand, may well fear this wave of strange invaders from the North. After all, we subsidize the growth of their little girls, and then come to monitor the process at our own convenience.

    But the Domination of Eiler says: Try not to think of us like we're building Hitler clones in a remote part of the world. Instead, think of us as those cute monsters from the Disney movies. We look after your little children, and we scare because we care! And how can Disney (a.k.a. "The Norteamericano Corporation Which Created Uncle Scrooge") be wrong?


    For this mission, the Domination will shift its operation journal to nearly basic text. The expeditionary force will travel light, and edit via the Domination's massively-equipped Conquering Cell Phone, which triples as a text editor and a music player. But sadly, nobody thought to design the cell phone to support the efficient editing of web pages which have to refer to other web pages.

    Operation Journal (wait for it!)

    As ever, Domination of Eiler forces expect to return triumphant, all praise to the One Maker.

    (signed) Dominator S. Eiler, Fist of the One Maker, for the Domination of Eiler.

    The Domination of Eiler believes in free sharing of information. But if you wish to reproduce significant parts of the commentary within, be aware that it is © copyright 2005 by Eiler Technical Enterprises. And have a niiiice daay.