Me in the Marvel Universe: Startup Escalation 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 Odin A Sequel 2004 2005 2006 .

Laundry Time!

Me in the Marvel Universe

Ever Since Odin Started Doing My Laundry...

...Now that's not a phrase most people hear every day. But it's just business as usual for me.

Ever since I got declared a deputy champion of Death, I've been trusted by Death Herself with assignments of some importance, often enough that I can rightfully call her "The Boss". For instance, when the Towers fell, I was there to help clean up. The firefighters there probably saw a lot of me, but they don't talk a lot about minions of Death if they don't have to. But anyway...

One Saturday afternoon, I'd just gotten home from a bike ride, and was about to do the laundry, when a stocky old guy came through my apartment door. Never mind that the door was closed; it was still there after he came through, and still closed. Okay, a ghost. I've seen a lot of those, but other than my Mom, they usually don't just barge in.

But this guy was different from most ghosts. For one thing...

And he wasn't just rude and uncouth, he had attitude. He said thunderously, "I Bring A Missive From Thy Mistress." And he shoved a scroll at me.

Any woman who has the right to command me has earned the name "Mistress", so I considered asking him to narrow it down. But since he was a ghost, I figured he came from Death, and Death qualifies. Besides, most other women don't send me scrolls.

So I opened the scroll, and it said:

The bearer of this message is the Northland godling Odin. He is dead in valiant battle. By right from his own belief system after life, he has therefore earned admission to Valhalla.

However, there is some controversy to his disposal. Some entities fear that Valhalla is not enough distance from those who loved him, and lack of that distance would defeat the purpose of Death. But none of them want to be his host, for they fear the Legions of Asgard will wage another Odinquest someday and trample slush through their brimstone banquet halls. They say Odin is my problem now... which is our problem. It annoys.

Therefore, until a lasting solution to this problem is found, I commend this dead thing to your care. Your home shall be his dwelling place. Your commands over him shall have my power. When he is difficult, I invite you to ask him how he taught his son humility.

So, I asked him to step aside while I took a shower and thought about this. He promptly tripped over my laundry basket.

It's a rather small apartment, so everything's in the way; besides, this guy was about half the size of my living room. But still, ghosts don't trip usually, unless they're in a City of the Dead. I guess this really is his afterlife destination now.

Odin didn't take well to the obstruction... "Hela take this hamper!" I just had to respond...

The sweaty clothes I'd been wearing didn't make it into the laundry, but I had a shower and thought about things.

No, I usually don't like roommates. But sometimes it's worked out for me, when they realized I'm the landlord. And if I can believe Death Herself, I'm definitely the landlord here. Given how The Boss really wanted it, I decided I might as well interview a prospective roommate.

Shortly thereafter, Odin and I had a talk about humility, and established that he really had to obey my commands. He was surprisingly okay with that. It seems he had dominion over the dead himself once, in Valhalla, so he has to respect the commands of Death.

I eventually taught him how to do the laundry. He handles all my menial work now; he seems to have a talent for it. Perhaps he was a micro-manager when he ruled.

Now that I have dominion over the dead, I qualify as a lord of the underworld. But I'm not a malevolent lord of the underworld; I'm trying to treat Odin like I would any other roommate who has no means of support. Under the circumstances, he seems happy.

January 2003     See Our Next Issue!
THOR vs. ZEUS vs. CHINA vs. N.Y.C.!
Why is Thor Here?

For the last few months, New York City has had a suburb from over the rainbow: Asgard, home of the Viking gods. And now, World Journal Monthly's own psychic Serena S. can tell us why! According to Serena:

  • Asgard is now ruled by Thor, the son of Odin. Odin died last year, in battle against Viking flame demons.
  • Thor's neighboring ruler and supposed ally Zeus of Olympus advised him that, if he cares about mortals so much, he ought to move the home of his gods closer to them. Thereby shortening his commute, as it were.
  • Thor took the advice of Zeus literally; he moved Asgard into orbit over his own favorite mortal place, New York City.
  • Of course, this got Thor embroiled in mortal affairs, to the point where China tried to shoot Asgard down with a ballistic missile. Of course, Thor was able to intercept the missile... but can he handle the next attack?
  • And of course, Zeus was the first among the gods to condemn Thor for his interference among the mortals. Did Zeus have an ulterior motive?

What lies in store for Asgard and New York City? Maybe the gods don't even know.

For the most part, Odin is apparently starting to enjoy not being in charge for once. But he's kind of worried about his son Thor, who's taken over the kingdom of Asgard.

As for me, Odin's stopped calling me "mortal", since he's been more subject to mortality than I have so far. He still thinks I'm a little young to be a death lord, but he has no complaints.

But still, I wonder what cosmic effects might come from a mortal holding the Nordic Father God prisoner.

So it's probably a good thing that bunches of "entities" want to find Odin, so this situation probably won't last too long. But then, roommate situations never do last long for me. (28 January 2003)

Me in the Marvel Universe: Startup Escalation 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 Odin A Sequel 2004 2005 2006 .
Odin, Thor, Zeus, and Death are all public domain. How about that. Admittedly, the interplay of these characters with China and New York City is from a storyline of Marvel Comics. Really. But still, the World Journal Monthly and the portrayal of Odin and Death in this story are copyright © 2005 by Eiler Technical Enterprises.