Domination of Eiler: Home The Declaration of Domination What Is the Domination? Latest Fiction The Dominator .
Journals: Typical VT WI WI IN IL MO WI WI IA IL MI WI WI WI ?? ON.
Blogs: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 .

Hooray for World Domination!

Domination of Eiler

2007 Autumn Blog (#11)

October - September 2007

Previous: August - July 2007 June - April 2007 March - February 2007 January 2007 - December 2006 November - September 2006 August - June 2006 May - April 2006 March 2006 - October 2005 September - June 2005 May - February 2005

In This Episode:

What Is the Domination of Eiler?

Oh, just treat it like another pretentious web log.
At least until you get to know it better, citizen.
Educational links are provided.

31 October 2007

Halloween Night 2007
Halloween usually continues even after the Friday night party is done.
Everyone's Pal the Ghost Rider
Sweet young ladies make friends with the Rider of Dominance. See also:

As a landholder of the City of Lansing, the Dominator has the responsibility to give out candy on Halloween night. And so he did, dressed as one of this year's movie heroes. The Judson Memorial Baptist Church sensibly cancelled choir practice for this purpose.

  • Children were entirely well-behaved, mostly escorted by doting parents who merely smiled while the Spirit of Vengeance tried to terrorize their spawn. No child admitted to fear, though. Some small ones were especially brave about this.
  • High school kids came out too. Three members of the Everett High School football team came out dressed as football players. That's fine. In the Domination of Eiler, Halloween is for everyone. But shall have to consider adult treats for the escorting parents next year, like spice packets or something.
  • Trick-or-treating was unexpectedly in full swing before sundown, due to freakish new United States rules about the end of Daylight Savings Time.

The Dominator missed some trick-or-treating, due to having a life outside of children. Before the evening, there was work and then physical therapy. Of course, the costume came out both those places.

Festivities ended about 8 pm when an hour of rain came. Nicely timed for most people, but the late start and the early ending left the Domination of Eiler and its workplace allies with many extra Smarties and SweetTarts. This could take days to work through.

Submit (Mail) to the Domination!

29 October 2007

Lost in Three States, Michigan Edition
A favorite game from New England works fairly well in the Midwest too. Plus, a state visit update.
M, Dammit!
Michigan marks its border with Indiana and Ohio, dammit. Pavement is courtesy of Ohio. The photographer's feet both stand in Indiana. See also:

Halloween Friday 2007 weekend is over. But the Domination of Eiler is taking one extra day to recover. In the Domination of Eiler, it often takes a vacation to recover from vacation.

Goshen-Indiana was occupied Sunday night, as anticipated. Goshen-Indiana is overrated but survivable.

  • Despite tourist brochures, no Amish were in evidence in Goshen, despite their tourist brochures. Either the Amish give their horses the Lord's Day off, or they sensibly drive their buggies to smaller towns such as Nappanee instead.
  • But one can get a beer in Goshen. As in Nappanee. Also as in the "Dutch" country in Pennsylvania. There may be no Amish town in which one cannot get a beer.
  • There may also be no Goshen Historical Society and museum. At any rate, it was not in evidence where tourist brochure said. If it exists, it evaded detection on Monday morning. As did Amish buggies still.

Needing some amusement, the Domination of Eiler expeditionary force decided to find the three-state boundary of Michigan, Indiana, and Ohio. The Domination knows that three-state boundaries are fun to find, because it once declared headquarters in Douglas-Massachusetts which is adjacent to Connecticut and Rhode Island.

  • Not all three-state boundaries are fun to find, because they're underwater in a river or a lake. It's only the land boundaries that have fun boundary markers.
  • At many three-state boundaries, the lines aren't where you would expect, because they have some strange turns. Which adds to the fun.
    • For instance, usually Massachusetts is north of both Connecticut and Rhode Island... but at the boundary, Connecticut is west of both Rhode Island and Massachusetts.
    • Likewise, usually Michigan is north of both Indiana and Ohio... but at the boundary, Indiana is west of both Ohio and Michigan.
  • In New England, the boundaries are often buried in the woods. Michigan and the Midwest have farms instead of woods, though. Michigan's boundary is in the middle of a side road.

Of course, the objective was conquered. The conquest was even adventurous.

  • The Domination of Eiler expeditionary force approached from the west, via Indiana state road 120. The Michigan state line was marked only by an "Entering Hillsdale County" sign. Only by previous map study was it known, the county line was the state line.
  • Turned south onto the Michigan / Indiana dirt road. The car got some muddy on. The driver knew the boundary was near, when the road turned to pavement. Ohio paves their county roads and puts up road markers, even on Indiana territory. Michigan leaves this one dirt. Indiana doesn't care either way.
  • Michigan splurges on boundary markers, though. There's a brass "M" embedded in the road, and a nearby rock engraved by the Hillsdale County Historical Society, saying, "Boundary that way!" Michigan is the junior of the three states, and has some reason to mark its borders. Way back, its territorial militia lost the Toledo Strip War with Ohio. Really.
  • Took photos, then evacuated via nearby Ohio / Michigan state road 49. Worth it for the October foliage alone. But got lost on Michigan farm roads when Route 49 petered out. Adventure!
Submit (Mail) to the Domination!

27 October 2007

Halloween Friday 2007
The Domination's most spectacular holiday is also an occasion for a full formal state visit.

Lansing-Michigan is a lovely place to live, but the Domination of Eiler patrols haven't found the party crowd here in time for the Halloween Party. Party directive: Retreat! Back to Palatine-Illinois! A state visit to Domination of Eiler allies is therefore underway.

Haunted Historical Society
The Historical Society of Lemont-Illinois is haunted.
  • Transit to Illinois on Wednesday night and Thursday. Mostly notable for an unscheduled trip through Lemont-Illinois to avoid unprecedented traffic backups on Hellroad section I-294.
    • Hellroad sections I-80 and I-94 have completed massive construction and are mostly passable. Nearby I-65 looks nasty, though, and now qualifies as Hellroad. So does I-294 as of today.
    • Lemont has a functioning Historical Society (town was built on canal and limestone industries) and more than its share of bars, so it took up some time. Errands, dinner, and downtime took up remainder of Thursday.
  • State visits to allies at former workplaces on Halloween Friday morning and afternoon, to recruit for The Party. Rain closing in, so mounted up in automobile.
    • AT&T often has a Halloween Friday luncheon, so took precaution of coming in full Ghost Rider costume. Sadly, the luncheon is Tuesday the 30th this year. Costume still provided great Halloween Friday fun, though. Too bad most of the old AT&T crowd sensibly quit employment there, just like the Domination Guard engineering force did before them.
    • Palatine Park District and Sparrow's Nest Thrift Store may also provide personnel for the party, given a personal appeal by the Dominator. Also put in two hours as thrift store volunteer, in the usual old job: digging a path through the donations to get to the workbench.
  • Ghost Rider, Minion of Domination
    Ghost Rider on the rampage. See also:
  • Halloween Friday evening activities ("The Party") at traditional venue Idols. Rented room secured, one mile away, walkable with umbrella. Thankfully, no rain at 5 pm, and got ride back.
  • As is traditional, Halloween Saturday has been kept open.
    • Church allies will be disappointed, because a sickly Illinois church lady is having her funeral Saturday morning. She will be honored with a memorial potluck luncheon in the church social room, with other people's kids running around. Reportedly she would have loved it. And the Domination of Eiler does its best to give honor to sickly people who still drag themselves to church. But not this way. For the record, the Dominator will be out of town that day (across two town lines, technically). Or has a prior engagement. Or the alarm won't go off. Or the dog will eat his homework. Or whatever.
    • Work allies also disappointed for a roller-blading outing. Sadly, the Domination Guard athletic force does not balance on blades of anything even under ideal conditions.
    • Thrift store allies might be happy in the afternoon, though. It wouldn't be the first time the Domination of Eiler engineering force came in for a Saturday afternoon recovery shift.
    • But likely, expeditionary force will just read comic books, carve a fun new hiking stick acquired in neighborhood, soak in hotel hot tub, and hang out at lounge and pizza parlor across a very small parking lot from hotel. Or if highly motivated, ride bike a mile or two to get Breakfast of Champions, served at a barstool. Hey, it is supposed to be a vacation.
  • Sunday morning with the church allies, probably with total strategic surprise. They weren't invited to The Party, because they'd mostly rather go to potluck luncheons.
  • Sunday afternoon, evacuate Illinois and see whether Goshen-Indiana is worthy of a one-night occupation by Domination of Eiler forces.
Submit (Mail) to the Domination!

14 October 2007

Homecoming Football Weekend
Normal people go back to their old university to visit. The Domination of Eiler is already there.

Homecoming weekend at the nearby Michigan State University, from which the Dominator graduated. Not a big deal, but worth some notes.

  • Avoided East Lansing during Football Saturday as usual. Instead, hung around South Lansing. Hooters restaurant full of evil Indiana University fans, but under the circumstances, can't blame them for avoiding East Lansing as long as they can.
  • To complete Football Saturday, went into work for employer who is increasingly frantic and still willing to pay for services. Then went to bed early.
  • Smugly rode into East Lansing for Sunday dinner, as often happens. Favorite brewpub slightly more busy than usual; Sunday's always a recovery day for them and their clientele. Some extra people around, but most visitors seemed to be going to arena for pep rally. Oh well, more brewpub for us locals.
  • Finished the afternoon with a visit to the cheese store at the MSU Union, so as to stockpile more stuff to go with pretzels and beer at dinnertime on weeknights. There, cheerfully tolerated a cashier who was still learning the cash register. Hey, at least his college education includes that useful training.
  • While evacuating the Union building, found a janitor mopping up in the restroom. Established that it was due to messy visitors. Apologized on behalf of all MSU alumni.
  • Neglected to ask anyone who won the game. Even the campus radio station doesn't care. ( says, home team won 52-27. Yay.)
Submit (Mail) to the Domination!

6 October 2007

The Forgotten Triangle Neighborhood Association
Eiler Town may be getting a new name, by public acclaim.

This week at the Great Hall of Eiler, a piece of mail was received, addressed to a former resident - Or Current Occupant. The Lansing City Council was inviting the locals of Eiler Town to show their neighborhood pride, come to a Saturday morning meeting, and form a neighborhood association!

Battle Flag
What Is the Domination of Eiler?

Having documented the neighborhood pride in Lansing-Michigan, the Domination of Eiler was intrigued. So it sent its investigative web journalist to the neighborhood meeting, conveniently down the street in a back room at local pub Coscarelli's. (Owner was much surprised to see this customer wandering in before 4 pm.)

After meeting, found that the Great Hall of Eiler is fairly well-respected in the neighborhood. Other interaction with locals bears this out.

Thanks to this morning's meeting, the Domination of Eiler is now on a short list whom the Lansing City Council will contact about neighborhood issues in Forgotten Triangle / Eiler Town. Assuming the City of Lansing doesn't force the evacuation of the Great Hall of Eiler in the next month over code compliance, this could be interesting.

Submit (Mail) to the Domination!

29 September 2007

Public Fitness Figure
An on-stage appearance for the Fitness Directorate of the Domination of Eiler.

The Dominator may not be the most well-known public figure in greater Lansing-Michigan, but he is one of the most visible, thanks to his usually trusty bicycles which can carry him to any part of the metro area. He's actually gone into a restaurant in East Lansing and had someone say, "Hey, I saw you in South Lansing!"

Fitness Expo
University baseball team and unaligned mascot at the Lansing-Michigan fitness expo.

Today the public exposure continues, at the Lansing Fitness Expo. Local gym arranged for the Domination of Eiler fitness force to join a demo of weightlifting on stage!

  • In return, the force tried to act like one of those "minion" exercisers one sees on fitness TV shows... "We love it! Give us seven more!"
  • Also tried to follow the instructor instead of the beat. All instructors play music during workout, but not all are well-trained at working out to music.
  • Also tried to wear fun clothing, like Great Pumpkin T-shirt and stylish Punisher-logo bandana, plus trademarked Fatface the Baby hat when offstage. T-shirt well-received.
  • This is probably worth putting on the fitness resume.

Local chiropractor also in attendance (among many chiropractors), and saw the demo. Doctor was especially impressed when she found out, the full set of exercises goes an hour instead of 20 minutes.

  • Chiropractor has reviewed an edited version of the rude comments about the introductory seminar, and said, "Thanks for the feedback." In return, the patient from the Domination of Eiler said good things about chiropractic treatment in front of potential customers.
  • Basically, all is forgiven... but the web link from Domination of Eiler site to chiropractor site still isn't coming back, unless the wellness regimen includes a discussion of free speech (i.e. previous blog entry which ain't going away) vs. libel suits. Which is probably a topic not conducive to wellness.
  • Doctor also seems to think her patient pays serious attention to nutrition. He does, but it's just as well the doctor doesn't know all the details.

Also at convention...

  • Spent free time wandering the exhibit booths and picking up free swag. Combination belt clip and mini-pen was popular for some reason. Local hospital had no booth, but it brought swag to give out at everyone else's booths.
  • Got a free 10-minute massage. Muscle-therapy professional says, certain muscles seem especially tight now that spinal-therpy professional has moved the nearby vertebrae.
  • Got a free "Body Age" assessment. The Dominator is 46 years old, but was assessed at 47 with a potential to be 35. His arthritic legs probably screwed things up somewhat, but working at a computer instead of a retail store like last year probably screwed things up more.
  • Still, old age is no excuse. Worked out at a rowing maching for ten minutes, supervised by much of the Michigan State University women's crew team. Crew member was kind enough to act somewhat impressed. That's the kind of exercise the Dominator likes.

Usual Saturday regimen continued outside of fitness expo.

  • Went to lunch at favorite local sports pub. You know it's good nutrition, because there was some lettuce among all the beer, cheese and chicken! That's the kind of eatin' the Dominator likes.
  • Supplemented the end-of-month comic book shipment with stuff from nearby local provider. Can barely wait to find out whether the Incredible Hulk can beat up Doctor Strange when Doctor Strange is channelling an apocalypse-demon. Indications are, probably he can.
  • But before reading comic books, went in to work.
    • On weekdays, employer is kind enough to let the Domination Guard engineering force out of work on time for chiropractic therapy. In return, the Dominator doesn't just laugh when they say on Friday morning, "We need 36 hours of data processing by Monday afternoon." At least not while employer is paying.
    • Today, they will be paying for the staff to watch log files while sucking down a big pot of their decaf coffee, reading comic books, listening to Black Sabbath on CD, and writing this wonderful web journal. And it will be a bargain for them.
Submit (Mail) to the Domination!

25 September 2007

Infant Wellness and the Domination of Eiler
- have nothing in common, but that didn't stop a clueless lecturer or his stock seminar.

The newly-acquired chiropractors of the Domination of Eiler have a mandatory wellness seminar for new customers. The Domination's staff in charge of "wellness" suspected it would be bad... but this counted as trauma.

Contents of the presentation:

  • 15 minutes of useful information that the staff had already presented, concisely and professionally.
  • 15 minutes of further useful information, like what we could expect from our treatments.
  • 30 minutes of marketing.
  • 30 minutes of medical reports and investigative journalism concerning infant spinal trauma during birth, including a video of baby extraction from the human birth canal, as combined with heavy anasthesia as doctors often provide to the mother.
    • This might have been good for parents (or for "fencesitters"). But for nonparents, this segment was grossly mistargeted. Even some parents might find it off-putting.
    • The Domination of Eiler would have gotten as much use from a expose on human spinal disorders resulting from the buggery of sheep - and it would have been less offensive. As such, this presentation actually interfered with spiritual wellness.

The seminar went on so long, it precluded a trip to the gym afterward. As such, it actually interfered with physical wellness.

  • Coincidentally, the seminar did not mention exercise as a part of wellness. Do chiropractors really propose bodily health without exercise?
  • ... Well, actually these doctors know better, and they'll tell you that privately. But the prospect of exercise often scares people during marketing, unless they've come to a gym for its marketing presentation.

At the end, each attendee was exhorted to bring a friend for a free checkup. Fine. The Domination of Eiler can now endorse chiropractice. But it will never endorse "informational seminars". For a medical practitioner to require a seminar which is so non-productive that it interferes with wellness, is most deeply resented.

The Domination of Eiler and its huge web site will therefore not advise this particular practice to new patients, until the firm cleans up their mandatory introductory seminar - and makes it available in print form so as not to interfere unduly in a general wellness regimen.

Submit (Mail) to the Domination!

21 September 2007

How Are You Not in Constant Pain?
... It's probably not a good thing when a doctor says that to you.

Another bizarre sequence of events.

  1. The Dominator moved to South Lansing-Michigan for employment reasons.
  2. He found a Baptist church to worship the One Maker at.
  3. The Baptists hooked him up with environmentalists for a river cleanup.
  4. The environmentalists gave him a grab bag of gifts, including a discount coupon for a chiropractor. The Dominator had just made it through a day of heavy lifting... but earlier that week, he'd had some back pain induced by lifting a coffee cup. So, cashed in the coupon.
  5. At checkup time the chiropractor fired up the X-ray machine, took some prints, looked at them, and then asked the Dominator, "How are you not in constant pain?"

The diagnosis is, third-stage scoliosis. Which is to say, the spine curves sideways. Third-stage is 40 to 60 years worth. There is a fourth stage to scoliosis, but not a fifth.

The probable cause is, some sort of trauma at about the age of 6 years old. At first, a juvenile fall down the stairway was the leading candidate. But opinion now favors pillows: two pillows under the head, every night since childhood.

  • In the world of chiropractice, a sharp blow to the neck is considered to be "therapy" (when a doctor does it), but frequent comfy pillows under the neck are considered to be "trauma" (when a patient does it).
  • In chiropractors' defense, the things one does to one's body when sleeping, are about at least one third of what one does to the body throughout one's life. Sleeping a certain way, really could do big things. The Dominator knows this, because he cracks his own spine in bed several times a night, without even trying. This pillow theory explains at least half the X-rays.

The prescription is, spinal adjustments three times a week for twelve weeks. Which is to say, Whack-a-Mole on the vertebrae, plus eventually traction. Plus a mandatory introductory seminar, which will probably be the worst part.

  • Unfortunately, health insurance does not seem to cover doctors who respond to spinal conditions by actually treating the spine.
  • Fortunately, in Lansing-Michigan chiropractors are well trained due to proximity to the Michigan State University of East Lansing, and cheap due to proximity to South Lansing. 36 visits to the chiropractor will cost about as much as the most recent two visits to the auto mechanic.
  • Also fortunately, the employer is understanding. The project has advanced to about 95% done on the front that the Domination of Eiler is responsible for - and holding for three months until the customer says "Go". This suits the chiropractic treatment schedule nicely. And the Domination Guard force is not the first engineer there to need physical therapy.
  • Treatments last about five minutes... at least before the "traction" stage of the therapy, which might eventually add twenty minutes on. So far, very convenient.
  • The commute to the chiropractor is a comfortable five-mile ride from work, mostly along bike path. Which itself is therapeutic. So is an undisputable excuse to get out of work on time, or sometimes even early. So is dinner afterward on occasion.

A visit to the chiropractor is like a visit to the spa... with some exceptions.

  • During the busy periods, the doctors shove patients through every five minutes. And the end of day is often a busy period, because everyone wants to not take time off from work to do this.
  • These particular doctors have "Family" as part of the name of their practice. It is the policy of the Domination of Eiler to avoid "family" anything. Particularly family restaurants, or any other venue where kids may run wild. The Dominator loves the children of his realm, but he doesn't usually want personal time with them.
  • To compound the "family" problem, the doctors believe in "open therapy" where everyone gets to watch everyone else be treated. On occasion, parents bring the whole damn famlee for treatment. While Kid #1 goes on the table, Kid #2 can grub around on the floor and play with the doctor's tools which somehow get stowed there on occasion. And parent and doctor beam indulgently.
  • That's particularly ironic, because the office has a sign at the front door: "To provide a healing environment, please put your cell phone on vibrate and take calls outside." What!? Technology is disruptive but children aren't?
  • So, at times family chiropractice is not like a spa; it's more like a dinner in the church basement. Which is ironic, because the Domination of Eiler choral force will be skipping dinner in a Baptist church basement one night a week in favor of therapy.
  • And at least one other night, the Domination's fitness force will skip the structured exercise regimen at the gym. There seems to be a choice: muscle and cardovascular health, or spinal health? Admittedly, spinal health seems important now.

To answer the doctor's question: "How are you not in constant pain?"

  • Maybe due to the structured exercise at the gym, wherein paid professionals help strengthen the Dominator's muscles while keeping them limber, and give guidance on proper form for exertion.
  • Or maybe the Dominator's nutrition regimen includes just the right amount of anasthetic beverage, often consumed on a barstool.
  • But perhaps the One Maker's just been merciful to his servant the Dominator... so far. Still, it behooves the Dominator to not stretch God's mercy beyond the breaking point.
Submit (Mail) to the Domination!