|
This week at the Great Hall of Eiler, a piece of mail was received, addressed to a former resident - Or Current Occupant. The Lansing City Council was inviting the locals of Eiler Town to show their neighborhood pride, come to a Saturday morning meeting, and form a neighborhood association!
Having documented the neighborhood pride in Lansing-Michigan, the Domination of Eiler was intrigued. So it sent its investigative web journalist to the neighborhood meeting, conveniently down the street in a back room at local pub Coscarelli's. (Owner was much surprised to see this customer wandering in before 4 pm.)
- Head of the Lansing City Council was running the session. Twelve locals showed up, counting the Domination of Eiler contingent. This was considered a good representative turnout for the neighborhood, it being a sunny Saturday morning.
- Being on investigative mission, the Eiler web journalist was careful not to actually express an opinion on the many topics discussed.
- Topic: How about a new senior citizen center? Answer: Let's find a place first. How decrepit is the nearby closed public school?
- Topic: How evil is everything along the neighborhood borders?
- Local National Guard armory is cool, but soon to be abandoned, which is usually not a good thing. Probably true of local auto mechanic as well.
- Local motorcycle training class is actually a good citizen. Might be considered to host the neighborhood association! What, the back room at Coscarelli's isn't good enough?
- Local liquor store is actually a good citizen. (And a Domination of Eiler ally.) Local methadone clinic, not so much.
- Nearby "Fabulous Acres" neighborhood is considered a wretched hive of scum and villainy. No great surprise there.
- Nearby hospital (Ingham Regional Medical Center) is considered an annoyance due to continuous construction. But it is being considered to host the neighborhood association.
- Topic: How evil is the mayor? Consensus: Headstrong and loves the sound of his own voice. Yada yada, local politics.
- Topic: The water still comes to people's homes through lead pipes!
- Lansing Board of Water and Light promises to fix that by 2011 or thereabouts. They advise citizens not to worry, unless they have children, in which case, put in a water filter. But if China were shipping water to South Lansing through lead pipes, United States of America would probably declare sanctions on China.
- The housing code compliance department of the City of Lansing is vigilant, and conducts home inspections for dangerous electrical conduits. Apparently, poisonous water conduits are not a priority for them.
- Topic: People's junk cars.
- Reportedly the code compliance department of the City of Lansing is better at going after people who are actually trying to improve their dwellings, than at going after people who have so many junk cars in their driveway, they could tow in one more and apply for a junkyard license. Neighborhood sentiment therefore runs against the code compliance department.
- This discussion is ironic, because the Great Hall of Eiler is currently under a code compliance interdict of the City of Lansing. Certain improvements which previous tenants made there, were half-assed. But if these were to be removed, there would be no washing machine there.
- Topic: How do we protect the children when they play in the street, and cars go faster than 25 mph? (In the Domination of Eiler, bicycles go faster than 25 mph too. And they still have to deal with those damned children who chase after balls in the street.)
- Consensus: Put up some yard signs, conveniently next to those portable basketball hoops which actually face the street.
- Due to code of web journalist silence, unmentioned: Keep the kids out of the damn street, eh?
- It was moved and acclaimed by all present, that there actually be a neighborhood association, meeting at 10 am on the first Saturday of every month, in location to be determined, presumably not the back room at Coscarelli's. No objection from the Domination of Eiler, though it loves Coscarelli's.
- Topic: Now that we have neighborhood pride, what do we call this neighborhood?
- Due to code of web journalist silence, inventive choices Eiler Town, Armory Town, Meridian Town (neighborhood being astride the Lansing east-west zero line for street addresses), and Coscarelliville were not mentioned.
- The leading candidate is therefore Washington Park, named after the nearest city park. Yawn.
- But there is considerable sentiment for the name "Forgotten Triangle". "Triangle" comes from the shape of the neighborhood, and "Forgotten" is a comment on local government which let the neighborhood go this long without neighborhood pride - and reportedly without dependable snow plows.
- This issue has been left for later resolution. Let the City of Lansing decide what it will, but this neighborhood (once declared as Eiler Town, due to lack of other declarations) is now registered in the Domination of Eiler as the Forgotten Triangle.
After meeting, found that the Great Hall of Eiler is fairly well-respected in the neighborhood. Other interaction with locals bears this out.
- Previous tenants were notorious. Lansing Police Department says, frequent domestic disputes there. Locals say, the Great Hall of Eiler is much better to have in the neighborhood.
- Speaking of Lansing Police Department... they were summoned to the Great Hall of Eiler one day, to investigate how evil locals almost removed a storm door closing mechanism which might sell for $3 on the black market. (Which would explain why the Domination of Eiler engineer once had to install a storm door closing mechanism.) Response from policeman was, of course, "We'll keep an eye out".
- Speaking of locals... When the Domination flag was raised in the neighborhood, there was some controversy among the neighbors. But one of them did his Web research, and identified the flag... as the Evil Minion Battle Flag. Aww, close enough.
- Neighbors may think the Domination of Eiler flag is bizarre, but they support the right of citizens to fly whatever flag they want. (God Bless America and All Hail the Domination!) When the code compliance officer came by to cite the Great Hall of Eiler, neighbors were worried he was here about the flag. Heh, it seems neighbors don't trust the code compliance officer.
- Local landlord is now in negotiation with code compliance officer. The Domination of Eiler is not at all sure whom to root for. City officer may be misguided, but landlord has been out of compliance since the time of the previous tenant - and neglected to tell the current tenant that the premises were technically unoccupiable, until one minute after the current lease was signed. Landlord is much like a child who plays on the train tracks and says, "The trains will always slow down for me."
Thanks to this morning's meeting, the Domination of Eiler is now on a short list whom the Lansing City Council will contact about neighborhood issues in Forgotten Triangle / Eiler Town. Assuming the City of Lansing doesn't force the evacuation of the Great Hall of Eiler in the next month over code compliance, this could be interesting.
|
